Take Me to School!

Have you ever lurked on an IRC channel, seen a desperate (off-topic, and likely from a 14-year-old) broadcast plea along the lines of "plz take me to school! teach me to hack i will be your apprentice plez kthx", and thought to yourself "he's talking to me, poor guy." Heh heh.

Well, though many of us aren't that rude or deluded, I think inside all of us we have a desire to be led by a Master into the mysterious lands of computer Kung-Fu.

My Kode-Fu is strong, and I'm here to help. (Warning: authors in mirror may be less arrogant than they appear). ;]

Consider this a crash-course in meeting your goals. Computers, applications, and programming languages are all tools, and many true hackers see their mastery and comprehension as a goal within itself. However, at the heart of every effort to comprehend, be it ever-so-slight, lies a desire to utilize that comprehension.

So, while some posts may seem circular ("I'm learning to write Elisp code for Emacs so that I can create tools to better write Elisp code in Emacs?", you entreat?), I will leave you with an anecdote to ponder as you begin your lessons...

I heard a story once of a young man who left his family to go live with a Kung Fu master in the mountains. He was eager to begin learning all the tricks and secrets that would give him the skills his master had. The first task that he was given when he arrived was to carry a bucket down to the well, fill it up, and bring it back to the school. He was instructed to slap the surface of the water with his palm, splashing the water out of the bucket until it was empty, and then repeat the process. He was very frustrated with this task, and felt cheated out of the training he had come for – especially when the weeks ran on into months, with no change in his daily routine of emptying the bucket with the palms of his hands. Finally, after 12 months had gone by, he was allowed to return to his family for a visit. They asked him what he had learned during the year, and he angrily told them that he had been given a pointless task to keep him occupied the entire time. He was hurt and frustrated by his waste of time and yelled out, "I have learned NOTHING!", slapping his hand down on the solid oak table in front of him as he did. The table split in two, and his family backed away in awe of the power he had been given by his wise teacher.